While on my sick bed yeterday I received a disturbing phone call from my girlfriend “Mary” (not her real name). After over fifteen years of twelve-hour days, taking work home every weekend, and worst of all being man-less because her job rendered her social life impossible, Mary had just found out that her dedication and loyalty was being rewarded in the most cruel of ways. She was being passed over for a promotion. What? You’ve got to be kidding me! Not to sound bias but on paper my friend was clearly more experienced, knew the job in and out and everyone liked her. So why was she being passed over for promotion? Well I must admit that she didn’t have my undivided attention (give me a break, I am also in pain here) but even in this dazed state one thing was crystal clear - my girl did NOT know the rules to get ahead at work. Again not to sound too bias or take her side – How could she know the rule when they are not recorded anywhere? So to level the playing field I’ve decide to record a few of them here:
Rule No. 1: Talent Is Never Enough – Having the right skills and expertise are important, but sadly on its own cannot guarantee your success. You also have to look like your impressive resume. Unfortunately many professional women are not only committing fashion faux pas that are silently sabotaging their careers but other faux pas that damage their credibility and kill their personal brands. Namely showing too much cleavage, being too sexy for their jobs, failing to purchase quality suits and accessories, not dressing for their figures, wearing the wrong colors, wearing flip flops and jeans on “casual Friday”, having the wrong people in their inner circle, poor grooming, dead fish handshake, failing to stay current in their field, the list goes on and on. Talent plus Professional Presence and Image Management are pre-requisites for the corner office.
Rule No. 2: You’ve Got To Be The Part – After you have the whole image makeover under control, you now have to walk the walk and be the part. What is the position that you aspire to? Who currently holds that position? Do your homework, study that person, learn from them. What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? How do you measure up? (Be objective – there is no point in lying to yourself). Watch and learn from the pro. Model their strengths, improve on their weaknesses then take on new responsibilities so that you can practice, practice, practice - but be careful that you star doesn’t shine too bright because in a twinkling of an eye you can fall from grace and be thrown out of heaven for possessing a takeover spirit. Here is a thought to keep you focus: “Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? – Homer Simpson
Rule No. 3: Communication Is Key – In business being able to effectively communicate is listed in the top three as a must have skill for any professional who wants to get ahead. Keep in mind that effective communication also includes the ability to write well, the sometimes forgotten art of diplomacy, confidence and the ability to exude professional presence. More importantly, never forget the saying “loose lips sink ship” and as an extra precaution recite Psalm 141:3 and this little prayer everyday. “Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. (NIV) or “Take control of what I say, O LORD, and keep my lips sealed.”(NLT) So that all of my hard work will not be destroyed when (without my permission) my tongue moves faster than my brain causing me to lose my cool, cuss like a drunken sailor, reveal my trump card and tell people what I really think about them, patronize people, come across as arrogant or make some type of offensive joke or remark against a certain group of people. (Take as many as you need and feel free to add to this list - the Lord understands!) Remember effective verbal as well as non-verbal communication skills coupled with diplomacy and tact are cornerstones of the corner office.
Rule No. 4: Connect With The Movers And Shakers And Stay In The Loop – There is no point trying to deny the fact that people know people and in this regard somewhere down the line it is only natural that people might have to use these connections to further their career. The real question becomes who are you connected to - movers and shakers or the worker bees? If the latter it’s time to cultivate relationships with the movers and shakers, (ask a senior partner to become your mentor) the people who know people, the bosses favorite. These are the people who really know what’s going on and can provide you with the “hookup” – say what you want but it pays to be on the right side of the Queen Bee if you wish to sit in that corner office!
Rule No. 5: If You Don’t Offer Solutions Park The BMW And Throw Away The Key – “It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half wit, and the emperor remains an emperor”. - Neil Gaiman and Marc Hempel, The Sandman: The Kindly Ones
Bitching, moaning and whining will NEVER get you the corner office. Face it – Life happens! Yes the knowing led by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Yes, you’re overworked and under-paid. Yes you’re stuck with an incompetent boss and management couldn’t buy a clue. Yes you have tenure and yes idiots are being promoted over you. But let me warn you, if you are the one who is constantly shouting “The emperor has no clothes on” and have not taken the initiative to go out and purchase the Emperor a new wardrobe, you run the risk of being branded as a negative, anti-management employee with a chip on your shoulder. In short like you have ISSUES my friend – BIG TIME. Now tell me who wants this psycho in the corner office?
Rule No. 6: “Don’t Be Irreplaceable. If You Can’t Be Replaced, You Can’t Be Promoted.” Anonymous - Train a successor. Enough said!
Rule No. 7: Always strive to see the big picture and adopt the attitude of stand up comedian Simon Munnery who say “ Some people cannot see the wood for the trees. I see the wood, and the trees and the small village beyond and what’s more I have a flame-thrower.

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